A colleague sent me this video link recently. She related it to the kids we work with, and the idea that when they're out of class and walking the halls, they're regulating their triggered brains.. something I agree with. The video was interesting.
Pondering Perpetual Motion
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday
Sunday is the one day of the week I typically don't have to set an alarm. It doesn't mean I sleep in; usually I still wake up around the same time as weekdays. Sometimes I can drift back to sleep for a bit. But most of the time, we don't get up until we absolutely can't stay in bed any longer- usually because we're starving. So from the time I wake up until the time I get up, which could be anywhere from 10:30-12:30 depending on how hungry I get, we have Sunday, Sunday, Sunday time.
It's a time when I may do something productive on the laptop, but usually not. Usually, we just lounge. The TV may or may not be on (depends on when Chris wakes up). The dog snuggles in close. I grab my tablet to read or my phone to scroll Facebook or play a game. If Chris is so moved, he gets us coffee. Or, not. That's the point of Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. There is no plan- at least not until we get up.
If I'm lucky, after we get up I don't have anything too terribly pressing to do (the dust bunnies would agree they're not too pressing) so I do something I want to do. I read, I sew, I call a friend. Sometimes the guilt of being lazy (and all those aforementioned dust bunnies) nags at me and I do some housework. But the beauty of Sunday, Sunday, Sunday is that I'm the only one who dictates how I spend it. (Unless we're out of clean clothes. Sometimes the hamper dictates.)
I appreciate that Tucker is on board with the lounging plan. In fact, I think he likes it even more than we do sometimes.
In art, I value the act of creating as much- if not more than- the thing that is created. I think that perspective is starting to inform my views of creating a life, too. So that would be the theme of my Sunday, Sunday, Sunday post: Process Over Product.
How Did We Get Here? Part Two
And the results are in.....
The Covid test results are back....
.... and negative.
I suppose it's not a bad thing that I had the last two days to rest. Goodness knows, I don't take that much time to rest very often. Maybe the universe was just trying to help me out with a nudge in the direction of self-care?
Self-care is an interesting topic. Sometimes I think of it as resting. But honestly, self-care for me often looks like things that take energy. Spending time with friends is a big one on my list of things that I find restorative. Family game nights with all the kids, even on Zoom- we laugh SO hard. Working on a quilt in the sewing room- or, just even playing with fabric in there (I like the planning as much as the actual creating). Fourteen-hour car trips to spend a couple of days watching dolphins (the dolphins part more than the car trip part anyway). And then, there are things that I don't enjoy doing, but I enjoy having done- like, cleaning the house. I suppose exercise fits into that category as well.
It seems sort of ho-hum to say that one of my goals for the year is to be better at self-care. I mean, don't we always say we need to be better at that? I think I need to broaden my definition of things that are self-care. Saying "no" without explaining myself, for example- I'm not great at that. Accepting help without saying, "No, thanks, I'm okay." Letting myself off the hook more often. Guarding my down-time and not feeling guilty for it. Understanding that just because I can, doesn't mean I should (see: saying no). All of these are things I could practice more.
I also need to reframe why self-care is important. It's not just because "you can't pour from an empty pitcher"... which, is true. But why is it we should have to justify taking care of ourselves?
I suppose if I were going to summarize this post with a theme, I would have to say it's this: Because You're Worth It (apologies to that cosmetics company).
How Did We Get Here? Part one.
A sick day.... what's that?
So here we are again.
I likely have The Virus- I was exposed earlier this week and have symptoms today. Mild, thankfully. I've had much worse. (Shout out to science and my vaccines and booster!) I'll test tomorrow so I have a definitive answer- or at least will hopefully have one. This damn pandemic occupies way too much emotional and physical energy even when you're NOT infected.
But I'm going to take this opportunity to do some writing here. I struggle with down-time. In fact, I've been in my work email most of the morning arranging the things I would have done if I were there today. I kind of don't mind it, I accepted positions with responsibility and so, I take responsibility. Probably I could do a better job setting things up so other people can step up in my absence. I'll spend some time on that this year.
Having said that, while I don't mind taking responsibility that I've accepted, I'm also getting a little tired of responsibility. Hence this Sea Change year. I've been working hard since I was 16- and, if you count babysitting jobs, since I was 13- and am working on accepting the reality that a) I'm getting older and b) it's okay to slow down. I can still be important without an important job title. (I'm going to repeat that to myself as an affirmation often, I think.) And maybe I don't need to work AND take a sick day?
That is one of the developmental tasks of getting older, isn't it? That transition from work to rest. I'm a big fan of Erik Erikson, and spend a lot of my time as a therapist helping people understand and adjust to these normative life stages (oooh that's even the name of the private practice I'm in!). But as with most things, the theoretical and the reality are different creatures. Healer, heal thyself? Practice what you preach? So many cliches fit here- insert your own favorite.
There are a lot of things I intend to write about. I don't want to clutter up this one post with all of them. So I think what I'll do is let this one stand alone, since it's meaningful to me in its own right, and start a new one with what I'm thinking of as my origin story for this new stage of life. (I won't even think about getting into my previous origin stories... that's what therapy is for.)
So I suppose the theme of this post is: One Thing at a Time. Something I need to get better at.
So much to learn
But what I didn't think about was all that I have to do to set it up.
What site to use?
What background?
What font?
Page? Post? Gadgets? What does this all mean?
So what you'll see as we go along is that I'm going to play. To experiment. To figure out, what DO gadgets do, anyway?
Part of what I'm realizing is that I can get stuck- paralysis of analysis. But what I want is to experience change this year. And so, I'm changing my reluctance to just put it out there. See how it looks. Tweak what needs to be changed. Keep what I love.
I'm going to work on another theme this year: Silence the Inner Critic.
Maybe I should make a list of themes...
Until next time-
Begin at the Beginning
Welcome!
I'm not sure how to start but I suppose "welcome" is as good a start as any!
The year ahead holds a lot of uncertainty, coming off the last two years of even more uncertainty. The title of this blog, Sea Change, represents the start of my new chapter, which truly began last April, when we decided to throw caution to the wind and buy a condo (a shoebox of a condo, mind you) in North Topsail Beach, NC. As is often the case, there is a story behind this, which I'll get to- eventually. For now, I wanted to start out by starting out. That, I believe, is going to be a theme for me this year: Get Started.
My plan for this blog is to document the journey of my personal Sea Change- what informed the decision to take the leap, the steps along the way, and, hopefully, some important lessons learned as we go.
Thank
you for being part of my year of Sea Change!